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The Time Machine is an item purchased on The Interwebs for one Time Cube. It is a porta-potty that can travel through time, and it is one out of the three options the player can decide to use the Time Cube on.


  • Always save and turn off the Auto Saver before using a Time Cube on anything. You have to restart the entire game if you save during or after using it.

In-Game Function

The Time Cube's main function is to obtain the "past", "future" and "eternity" badges.


"Past" Section

WARNING: Major plot details underneath! Expand at own risk!

After using the item, The Time Machine sends you into the past. You will get a badge, labelled "past". There will be a Neanderthal-type Floppa with a club, named Ooga, apparently the leader of the other Neanderthal-type Floppas. It will ask you to locate "Ooga's Stick" which is his stick. He describes it as the best stick in the world, and it is located behind one of the moai statues in the map. After finding the stick and trading it with the floppa, it gives you a Time Cube to go to the "Future" section.

"Future" Section

After the "Past" section, this section is just a long string of dialogue with a Floppa Soldier (similar to the Floppa Gunners). He describes the Time Cube as a component to a bomb for (presumably) King Bingus' army, but then he admits to lying, and telling the player it just looks cool. Then it gives the Time Cube to you, allowing you to move to the final section.

"Eternity" Section

This section is the final section, which awards you with the "eternity" badge. This section is also only dialogue with the OG Floppa, telling the player that time travel is not allowed in their dimension. The player then tells the OG that he allowed the player to time travel earlier, but it denies that actually happened. The OG then tells the player that they are going to have a sentence, with a duration of "1 or 2 eternities", then makes a "Sayonara!" sound, before disappearing into thin air, leaving you in eternity until you rejoin.

Method of Obtaining

  1. Reach 100% faith on the Altar.
  2. Talk to OG Floppa.
  3. Get the Time Cube.
  4. Travel back to the house.
  5. Buy the Time Machine.


  • A Time Machine is a machine that can travel to the past and future.
  • The Time Machine ending is one out of three of the current endings, the other ones being with the Mysterious Orb and the Item Duplicator.
  • When the Time Machine appears, it replaces the oven for a short time.
  • The Time Machine's appearance is based on a worn down porta-potty, branded with "Sweet Relief".